Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Randomize
