it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
