I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
