It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
