i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
