I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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