I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
