i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
