if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You are the jesus of drinking
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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