I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
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