You really coming over, don't trick.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
