frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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