Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
