love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize