We won't sleep together?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
