STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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