Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
