And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
...so i touched it.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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