I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
