why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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