can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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