he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Randomize
