i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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