When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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