Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
