i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Dear god my vagina.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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