Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
