I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize