Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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