U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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