Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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