Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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