You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Randomize
