so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
