this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
