too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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