never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
