Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
