found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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