So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
