he told me I talked like a deaf person
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
