I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize