In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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