I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
