Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize