Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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