so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
