I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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