Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
