Christians are straight up FREAKS
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
