i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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