I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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