I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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