Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
