I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
