Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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