drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
