He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
