My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
