the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
