And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
