So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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