the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
accomplished twins. life is a go
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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