Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
If I had your ass I would rule the world
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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