thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
