I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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