he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
