they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
i now understand why vodka
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
